arms and legs

it strikes me again

that tiger’s maw closing gently around my neck as night falls,

it comes to me in rolling waves when the sun has tucked herself behind the great curtain of the earth and the moon grins with her teeth bared,

grins down at me, taunting,

it comes to me that i lie in my bed

with only two arms and two legs

and the heavy lead ball that sits inside my throat and slides down toward my stomach where it boils and bubbles and burns me,

a body of scar tissue,

with only two arms and two legs,

and no one pulling at my blanket

so i am warm all night long but it is not so sweet

to be warm as you might think,

as i thought it would be, all those nights wrestling with you.

it comes to me that you lie in your bed

with only two arms and two legs

and i imagine reaching out my hand

with fingers stretching long and far

to brush against your cheek somewhere,

wherever you are tonight.

the lead within my stomach twists and coils me

and the moon grins on down,

and it comes to me that there is nothing left to do

but sleep,

and i close my ever asking eyes.